“National Lampoon's Vacation” quotes

(1983)
Movie National Lampoon's Vacation
Harold Ramis directed this movie in 1983
Title National Lampoon's Vacation
Year 1983
Director Harold Ramis
Genre Comedy, Adventure
Plot – The Griswold family - Clark, Ellen and their children Rusty and Audrey - is leaving for a 2 weeks holiday in the famous amusement park called 'Walley World'. During the journey, some tragicomic events happen one after the other, beginning with the new car Clark is forced to buy by a dealer. After an incredible journey through over two thousand miles, during which old Aunt Edna dies, the Griswold's finally arrive to 'Walley World' but the park is closed for renovation, so Clark is both shocked and dazed. Hanging a gun, he forces the rangers to put everything in motion for the amusement of his family, but when the owner of the park and the police arrive Clark tries to adulate them to escape the arrest.
All actors – Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Imogene Coca, Randy Quaid, Anthony Michael Hall, Dana Barron, Eddie Bracken, Brian Doyle-Murray, Miriam Flynn, James Keach, Eugene Levy, Frank McRae
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  • “- Clark Griswold: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?
    - Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best.”

    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
    [Tag:food]
  • “I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “We're not really violent people... this is our first gun.”
    Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
    [Tag:violence, weapons]
  • “I'm making this out for one thousand dollars. All you have to do is give me 300 dollars in cash and keep 700 dollars, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep.”
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    [Tag:acting, money]
  • “- Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
    - Clark Griswold: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
    - Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.”

    Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “- Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
    - Clark Griswold: No, sir, I don't.
    - Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.”

    James Keach - Motorcycle Cop
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.”
    Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
    [Tag:health, injustice]
  • “- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once.
    - Rusty Griswold: What happened?
    - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: I threw up.”

    John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
    Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
  • “We pass a damn gas station every hundred yards for a thousand miles, but when you really need one, you end up walking your ass off. This is no way to run a desert!”
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “- Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us.
    - Clark Griswold: It's living history Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.”

    Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “I'm so hungry I could eat a sandwich from a gas station.”
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    [Tag:food, hunger]
  • “- Clark Griswold: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?
    - Pimp: Fuck yo mama!
    - Clark Griswold: Thank you very much.”

    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “- Rusty Griswold: Dad this is not the car you ordered.
    - Clark Griswold: Take it easy Rusty... Ed this is not the car I ordered.”

    Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    [Tag:cars]
  • “[looking at the dead Aunt Edna in the back seat]
    - Ellen Griswold: She must have passed away somewhere near Flagstaff. What are we going to do, Clark?
    - Clark Griswold: Well, we could leave her here and the first phone we pass, we could call your Cousin Normie and he could come and get her, I guess.
    - Ellen Griswold: That is the meanest,...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold
    Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
    [Tag:body, death, traveling]
  • “- Ellen Griswold: Lord, we loved this woman with all our heart.
    - Audrey Griswold: Let's not overdo it, mom.
    - Ellen Griswold: Shut up.”

    Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
    Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold
    [Tag:funeral, lying]
  • “- Aunt Edna: Clark, Dinkums needs a long walk and a bath.
    - Clark Griswold: Rusty take care of Dinkums.
    - Rusty Griswold: Dad he bites.
    - Clark Griswold: Bite him back.”

    Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
    [Tag:defense, dogs]
  • “Now, I owe it to myself to tell you that if you're taking the whole tribe cross-country, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster... You think you hate it now, wait 'til you drive it.”
    Eugene Levy - Car Salesman
    [Tag:cars, traveling]
  • “Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun.”
    Clark Griswold - Clark Griswold
  • “- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: That's not a real gun, is it Clark?
    - Clark Griswold: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I.
    - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: It's a BB gun!
    - Clark Griswold: Don't tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing.
    - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: You couldn't even break the skin with that thing.
    - Clark Griswold: Yeah...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    [Tag:danger, weapons]
  • “- Clark Griswold: So, this is the old homestead, eh?
    - Cousin Eddie: Yeah. I don't know for how much longer, though. The bank's been after me like flies on a rib roast.”

    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
    Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
    [Tag:bankers, money]
  • “- Assistant Mechanic: Never heard of no one so shit-all stupid as you drivin' off that road. You musta got manure for your brains.
    - Clark Griswold: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town.”

    John Diehl - Assistant Mechanic
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes... or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?”
    Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
  • “She breathed on me, a dead person breathed on me!”
    Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold
    [Tag:death, fear]
  • “- Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
    - Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
    - Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.”

    Jane Krakowski - Cousin Vicki
    Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold
    [Tag:kiss, perversion]
  • “- Ellen Griswold: I hope at least you kids have learned something from this.
    - Audrey Griswold: Yeah! Don't die unless someone's home!”

    Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
    Dana Barron - Audrey Griswold
    [Tag:death, home, learning]
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