“- Ozzie: There's a leprechaun in the basement!
- Nathan Murphy: Hold on. What's going on?
- Ozzie: He came out of a box. He had these long, real skinny fingers. He wasn't nice like lucky charms or anything. And then he ate a bug!”
Mark Holton - Ozzie
Ken Olandt - Nathan Murphy

“- Dr. Walter Jenning: I have disguised my true form, which would be considered... hideous and revolting, here.
- Beverly Switzler: Lucky for the people eating.”

Jeffrey Jones - Dr. Walter Jenning
Lea Thompson - Beverly Switzler

“- Angela: She said you were a bad guy. You don't seem like a bad guy.
- Roy Waller: That's what makes me good at it.”
Alison Lohman - Angela
Nicolas Cage - Roy Waller

“I want ten thousand tough guys, and I want ten thousand soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher.”
Albert Brooks - Russ Cargill

“The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were no good.”

James Karen - Lynch