“- Kirby Keger: It's true love, my friend.
- Kevin Dolenz: Love, love, you know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers.”
Emilio Estevez - Kirby Keger
Andrew McCarthy - Kevin Dolenz

“What if there's no such thing as true love but we're just too afraid to admit it, so we keep on dressing up, we keep on pretending to be something that we're not, we keep turning our lives upside down, losing ourselves in something that we hope is better than what we think that we are?”
Claire Forlani - Jennifer Burrows

“- Isaac Barr: To tell you the truth, I can't stop thinking about her...
- Alan Lowenthal: Isaac, you know as well as I do that romantic love is a projection. You're not seeing this woman.
- Isaac Barr: Hehe, get out of here...
- Alan Lowenthal: It's a vision. You're in a delusional state.”

Richard Tiffany Gere - Isaac Barr
Robert Harper - Alan Lowenthal

“Here's to the men that we love, here's to the men that love us. But the men that we love will never love us so fuck all that, here's to us.”

Jenny McCarthy - Rebecca Sommers
Carmen Electra - Michelle Lopez
Kam Heskin - Carrie Carson

“I don't love you because love is for girls and girls are disgusting.”
Rik Mayall - Drop Dead Fred