“I try to give them a little culture now and then so they don't beat each other to death with bicycle chains all the time.”

Woody Allen - David Dobel

“I usually have at least a month before I am faced with student in women's underwear or an artist's rendering of my persona dangling from the rafters. And we're only in the first week. It's frightening to imagine what could happen by Christmas, isn't it?”

James D. O'Reilly - Mr. Bernhardt

“- Professor Stephen Malley: You know, professors aren't teachers, they're salesman.
- Janine Roth: Okay, so what do you sell?
- Professor Stephen Malley: You, to you.”
Robert Redford - Professor Stephen Malley
Meryl Streep - Janine Roth

“The man who honors his teacher honors himself.”
Collin Chou - Jade Warlord

“Two tigers cannot live on the same mountain. Likewise, two teachers cannot have the same student!”
Jackie Chan - Lu Yan