“Ther’s just certain things a man wants from his wife, like to be here when he gets home, to cook a meal once in a while, clean up, and make good love too.”
John Travolta - Bud

“- Chloe Steele: Turn that up.
- Raymie Steele: Mom said to turn it down.
- Chloe Steele: You always do what you're told?
- Raymie Steele: Yeah, you should try it sometime.”

Janaya Stephens - Chloe Steele
Jay Manchester - Raymie Steele

“Blanche, would you stop pointing your finger at me and yelling. You got two other husbands here to do that with.”

Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Female Writer: Husband says, 'Darling, you can't leave. What would it take to make you stay?'.
- Father Writer: She says, 'Try chloroform'. Ha! Ha!
- Son Writer: This isn't a comedy.
- Female Writer: That wasn't a joke.”
Anne De Salvo - Female Writer
Robert Klein - Father Writer
Peter MacNicol - Son Writer

“Like my ex-wife. Anything I say, she does the opposite.”
Brad Dourif - Al Bert