“- Mrs. Topper: I think its ridiculous for a man of your age to pursue young girls. What will the neighbors think?
- Cosmo Topper: I didn't pursue them, Clara. They forced themselves on me.
- Mrs. Topper: Don't be absurd! Imagine girls, pretty girls, forcing themselves on a paunchy, middle-aged man.”
Billie Burke - Mrs. Topper
Roland Young - Cosmo Topper

“- Alberto Granado: It is rumored that Chilean girls are the most daring on the continent.
- Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: Rumors have no scientific value, Dr. Granado. Time to do some research.”
Rodrigo De la Serna - Alberto Granado
Gael García Bernal - Ernesto Guevara de la Serna

“- Scott: I don't know. I don't think she's your type.
- John Tucker: Girl is my type.
- Scott: Alright, well then maybe you're not her type. She's into stuff like old school Elvis Costello, she listens to obscure podcasts, she reads Dave Eggers. You know, she's deep, man.
- John Tucker: Dude, I'm deep. I'm dating the poetry club.”

Penn Badgley - Scott
Jesse Metcalfe - John Tucker

“- Kei: Hm. I think you're a skirt-chaser who'll try anything he can. You'll help anyone solong it's a girl, is that right?
- Kaneda: You're wrong. I have very high standards ya know. It's not their looks that count. It's their... I don't know, a girl's sensitivity that makes me do it.”
Wendee Lee - Kei
Mitsuo Iwata - Kaneda

“Come on Harry, the maiden fair waits for her knight in shining corduroy.”

Leslie William Nielsen - Richard Vickers