“Nice ass won't get you through your whole life. Once you turn thirty you better have a personality.”
Vince Vaughn - Raji

“- Wayne: She didn't like the way his ass looked, so she made him get butt cheek implants.
- J.D.: I thought his ass looked tighter!”

Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?”

Edward Norton - The Narrator

“- Colleen Douglas, State Pagent: Look at that one there. I think that she's had a boob job.
- Terry Macy, State Pagent: Oh, come on. She's too young for a boob job.
- Colleen Douglas, State Pagent: They do that at birth now, what are you talking about?”
Nora Dunn - Colleen Douglas, State Pagent
Mo Gaffney - Terry Macy, State Pagent

“- Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
- Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?”

Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan