“If You Only Knew” quotes

Movie If You Only Knew
Title If You Only Knew
Year 2000
Director David Snedeker
Genre Comedy, Romance
All actors – Johnathon Schaech, Alison Eastwood, James Le Gros, Gabrielle Anwar, Paul Sampson, Annie Corley, Miguel A. Núñez Jr., David Markey, Tiffany Fraser, Joey Travolta, Rainbeau Mars, Frank Vincent
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  • “Turn gay, attract women.”
    James Le Gros - Jack
  • “- NewspaperEditor: I'm not looking for writers. I'm looking for ideas. Ideas with heart. If you pitch me a... a great idea with heart, you get to write it. That's the wonderful world of freelance.
    - Parker Concorde: Well, actually, I'm working on this... psychic hotline article.
    - NewspaperEditor: Good. How's it end?
    - Parker Concorde: How...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Joey Travolta - Newspaper Editor
    Johnathon Schaech - Parker Concorde
  • “- Troy: Baby, I smell some gossip. I smell big, fat, stinking, juicy gossip.
    - Matt: Troy, my friend, you have no idea.”

    Miguel A. Núñez Jr. - Troy
    Paul Sampson - Matt
  • “As they say at the bureau, you have to seize life before it seizes you.”
    Lainie Kazan - Bess
    [Tag:life, living]
  • “That's the great thing about painting. If you don't like something, you just paint right over it and start fresh.”
    Alison Eastwood - Samantha
  • “What's gonna happen when all you want to do is the filthy nasty with her and all she wants from you is an opinion on which earrings she should wear with a dress?”

    James Le Gros - Jack
    [Tag:attitude, women]
  • “- Parker Concorde: You know, I'm glad you came around, because I was about to have a coronary.
    - Samantha: Yeah, me, too.”

    Johnathon Schaech - Parker Concorde
    Alison Eastwood - Samantha
    [Tag:disease, helping]
  • “Ever since I've been... gay... I've felt more comfortable around women than I've ever been.”
    Johnathon Schaech - Parker Concorde
  • “- Parker Concorde: Thank you.
    - Bess: You're welcome, but what for?
    - Parker Concorde: For giving me an ending.”

    Johnathon Schaech - Parker Concorde
    Lainie Kazan - Bess
    [Tag:end, storytelling]
  • “You can't write it if you don't know how it ends - Journalism 101.”
    Joey Travolta - Newspaper Editor
  • “- Kate: Men are just giant artichokes. They're prickly and hairy and hard and... until you get to the heart.
    - Parker Concorde: Which is the best part.”

    Gabrielle Anwar - Kate
    Johnathon Schaech - Parker Concorde
    [Tag:heart, men]
  • “- Samantha: I feel safer living with a man. Plus, I made some great friends.
    - Parker Concorde: So, you're not worried about things turning... romantic?
    - Samantha: Romantic?
    - Parker Concorde: I mean, you're very... You're a very attractive woman.
    - Samantha: Oh, thank you, Parker. That's why I only live with men who are gay.”

    Alison Eastwood - Samantha
    Johnathon Schaech - Parker Concorde