“My Big Fat Greek Wedding” quotes

(2002)
Movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Title My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Year 2002
Director Joel Zwick
Genre Comedy, Romance, Family
Plot – The Portokalos family is worried about Toula, the thirty-year-old daughter who's still unmarried. She works as a waitress in her parent's greek restaurant and her life is pretty flat indeed. When her parents propose her to come back to Greece to find a husband, she reacts and changes her look, enrolling in a computer school and working in her aunt's travel agency, despite the opposition of her outdated father. Then she meets the charming teacher Ian Miller, who asks her out on a date. They fall in love soon and Ian proposes her, but he has to deal with her parents and the whole family.
All actors – Nia Vardalos, Michael Constantine, Christina Eleusiniotis, Kaylee Vieira, John Kalangis, Lainie Kazan, Marita Zouravlioff, Sarah Osman, Petra Wildgoose, Melissa Todd, Bess Meisler, Andrea Martin, Louis Mandylor, Gerry Mendicino, Stavroula Logothettis, Constantine Tsapralis, Gia Carides, Joey Fatone, John Corbett, Ian Gomez, Jayne Eastwood, Frank Falcone, Eugene Martel, Joe Persechini, Peter Xynnis, Fiona Reid, Bruce Gray, Anthony Kandiotis, Nick Kutsukos, Peter Tharos, Chrissy Paraskevopoulos, Maria Vacratsis, Kathryn Haggis, Gale Garnett, Charlene Bitzas, Chris Savides, Constantine Vardalos, Scott Khouri, John Tsifliklis, Peter Chalkiopoulos, Peter Gogos, Spiro Milankou, Victor Politis, Jim Rouvas, Arielle Sugarman, , Matthew Galliford, Thomas Kane, Konstantine Kurelias
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  • “I've never seen my sister this happy, Ian. If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident.”
    Louis Mandylor - Nick Portokalos
  • “- Yianni: Ian, if you're gonna be in this family, I get you some earplugs because the Portokalos women, if they're not nagging someone... They Die!
    - Toula Portokalos: Ah, you're in so much trouble when I tell my sister!
    - Athena: Tell me what?”

    Peter Tharos - Yianni
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    Stavroula Logothettis - Athena
  • “Didn't i say it was wrong to educate the woman? But nooo, nobody listen to me, now we have a boyfriend in the house!is he a nice Greek boy, oh no no Greek, an Xeno! A Xeno with the big long hairs on top of his head!”
    Michael Constantine - Gus Portokalos
    [Tag:obedience, past, women]
  • “Nicko! Don't play with the food! When I was your age, we didn't have food!”
    Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos
    [Tag:food, past, respect]
  • “A couple more years went by, and my dad brought his mother from Greece to live with us... Because we weren't weird enough - grandma says she will not be kidnapped by turks in Greece, hitting, and runnng out. We told my grandma the war was over... But she still slept with a knife under her pillow.”
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    [Tag:fear, war, women]
  • “- Gus Portokalos: Why you want to leave me?
    - Toula Portokalos: I'm not leaving you! Don't you want me to do something with my life?
    - Gus Portokalos: Yes! Get married, make babies! You look so... old!”

    Micahel Constantine - Gus Portokalos
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
  • “- Maria Portokalos: It's a cake! I know! Thank you! Thank you very, very much.
    - Maria Portokalos: [whispering to Aunt Freida] There's a hole in this cake!”

    Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos
  • - Maria Portokalos: Toula, on my wedding night, my mother, she said to me, "Greek women, we may be lambs in the kitchen, but we are tigers in the bedroom."
    - Toula Portokalos: Eww. Please let that be the end of your speech.

    Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    [Tag:greece, speech, women]
  • “- Toula Portokalos: [Pointing to Ian's bruised nose] What happened? Biker fight? nose job? What?
    - Ian Miller: Uh... yeah.
    - Toula Portokalos: No, really.
    - Ian Miller: You don't want to know.
    - Toula Portokalos: Oh I don't know. If I had survived an old lady ass-kicking I would want to brag about it.”

    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    John Corbett - Ian Miller
  • “- Mrs. White: Did you lose this?
    - Gus Portokalos: Mrs. White, you find my mama again! You know, she come from Greece, which is where I come....
    - Mrs. White: Oh, for God's sake I know, look, keep your mother off my lawn, out of my basement, and away from my roof!”

    Jayne Eastwood - Mrs. White
    Michael Constantine - Gus Portokalos
    [Tag:greece, mother]
  • “- Toula Portokalos: Ma?
    - Maria Portokalos: What?
    - Toula Portokalos: Why do I have to go to Greek school?
    - Maria Portokalos: When you get married, don't you wanna write your mother in law a letter?”

    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos
  • “- Nick Portokalos: Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.
    - Toula Portokalos: Nick that's beautiful.
    - Nick Portokalos: Yeah that dear Abby really knows what she's talking about.”

    Louis Mandylor - Nick Portokalos
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    [Tag:future, life, past]
  • “So, what happens is my dad and uncles, they fight over who gets to eat the lamb brain. And then my aunt Voula forks the eyeball and chases me around with it, try to get me to eat it, 'cause it's gonna make me smart. So, you have two cousins, I have 27 first cousins. Just 27 first cousins alone! And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
  • “Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya! Opa!”
    Joey Fatone - Angelo
  • “I'm a snow beast!”

    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
  • “My family is big and loud but they're my family. We fight and we laugh and yes, we roast lamb on a spit in the front yard. And where ever I go, what ever I do they will always be there.”
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
  • “- Gus Portokalos: Where are you going?
    - Toula Portokalos: I'm taking a pottery class.
    - Gus Portokalos: Ah! The Greeks invented pottery. Hmph.”

    Michael Constantine - Gus Portokalos
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
  • “- Ian Miller: I know this great place... Zorba something... anyway, I'd love to take you there if you'd like to go.
    - Toula Portokalos: Uh, that place, Dancing Zorba's...
    - Ian Miller: Dancing Zorba's!
    - Toula Portokalos: My family kinda owns that place.
    - Ian Miller: [looking at her closely] I remember you. You're that waitress.
    - Toula...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Nia Vardalos - Ian Miller
    John Corbett - Toula Portokalos
  • “Nice Greek girls are supposed to do three things in life: marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone... until the day we die.”
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    [Tag:greece, society, women]
  • “- Toula Portokalos: Ian is a vegetarian. He doesn't eat meat.
    - Aunt Voula: He don't eat no meat?
    - Toula Portokalos: No, he doesn't eat meat.
    - Aunt Voula: What do you mean he doesn't eat no meat? [the room goes silent]
    - Aunt Voula: Oh that's ok, That's ok, I make lamb!”

    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    Andrea Martin - Aunt Voula
  • - Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"
    - Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
    Lainie Kazan - Maria Portokalos
  • “There are two kinds of people - Greeks, and everyone else who wish they were Greek.”
    Michael Constantine - Gus Portokalos
  • “When my people were developing philosophy your people were still swinging from trees.”

    Michael Constantine - Gus Portokalos
  • Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord.... (continue)(continue reading)

    Andrea Martin - Aunt Voula
  • I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"
    Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos
Highlights