“- Dr. Buddy Rydell: In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three of four men to share a bed.
- Dave Buznik: That's why I'm proud to be an American.”
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell
Adam Sandler - Dave Buznik

“You wanna learn about America, Inga? In America, we like boys! We like hot boys! Boys with roaming hands and rushing fingers!”
Traci Lords - Wanda Woodward

“Feminine weaknesses and fainting spells are the direct result of our confining young girls to the house, bent over their needlework, and restrictive corsets.”
Susan Sarandon - Mrs. March

“A blender? I mean, what is this? 1958? Give the little wife a blender?”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks

“- Connor: The rule of thumb here is...
- Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
- Connor: Can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?”

Sean Patrick Flanery - Connor MacManus
Dot-Marie Jones - Rosengurtle Baumgartener