Adam Sandler quotes
“- Virginia Venit: Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! You want to beat him? Beat him on the course.
- Happy Gilmore: That's right, I'm gonna beat your ass on the course!
- Shooter McGavin: Yeah, right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard.
- Lee Trevino: Grizzly Adams did have a beard.”
“- Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
- Happy Gilmore: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
- Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!”
“- Chuck: I still remember the war.
- Dave Buznik: Oh, yeah?
- Chuck: Yeah, I remember waking up to the sound of bombs dropping and children screaming.
- Dave Buznik: Oh, you were in Vietnam?
- Chuck: No... Grenada.
- Dave Buznik: Didn't that, like, last only 12 hours?”
“You'd better not kill me, man, I've got shit to do tomorrow!”
“- Chubbs: What are you doing?
- Happy Gilmore: 364 days until next year's hockey tryouts, I have to toughen up.”
“- Rita: Is there a girl you're seein'?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Seein'? Uh, I see a lot of girls... I see a lot of guys too.
- Rita: I think that's sexy, you ever been with a guy and girl at the same time?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Oh yea, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my Mama and Coach Klein at the same time.”
“You're gonna die, clown!”
“- Happy Gilmore: I got into this tournament for one reason: money. And now I have a new reason: kicking your ass!
- Shooter McGavin: Well, I'd like to see you try.
- Happy Gilmore: [Picks up beer bottle and smashes it in half] Let's do it, then!
- Shooter McGavin: I meant on a golf course!”
“- Chubbs: You were great out there today.
- Happy Gilmore: Thank you.
- Chubbs: But not that great. A lot of that was luck.
- Happy Gilmore: Some might call it luck. I like to call it.. well, luck, I guess. So what?”
- Happy Gilmore: I'd love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal".
- Bob Barker: It's "The Price Is Right", Happy.
- Happy Gilmore: Oh, yeah. Sorry.
“- Happy Gilmore: A guy your size, why don't you play a real sport, like football?
- Chubbs: My Momma wouldn't sign the permission slip. Said it might be a little too dangerous.
- Happy Gilmore: Yeah, good call.”
“I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.”
“- Guy on Green: It's about time!
- Happy Gilmore: Yeah it is about time. I mean I just couldn't get the ball in the hole. I wanted to but I just couldn't do it.”
“- Chubbs: Thanks for dressing up.
- Happy Gilmore: If saw myself in clothes like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.”
“You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white ass ball!”
“Everything I do, it's not going right, and I don't know what to do.”
“- Demany: And what the fuck is it wit' you Jewish niggas and basketball anyway? 'Uh? Shucks.
- Howard Ratner: I'll have you know the first two points scored in the NBA was a Jew.
- Demany: Yeah, yeah, who what, Fred Flintstein?
- Howard Ratner: No. Ossie Schectman, 1946, played for the Knicks.”
“I know. Jews and colon cancer. What's is that? I thought we were the chosen people.”