Adam Sandler quotes
“You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go home? That's your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white ass ball!”
“- Nick Spitz: You're an actress, right?
- Grace Ballard: All women are actresses, dear. I'm just clever enough to get paid for it.”
“- Virginia Venit: Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! You want to beat him? Beat him on the course.
- Happy Gilmore: That's right, I'm gonna beat your ass on the course!
- Shooter McGavin: Yeah, right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard.
- Lee Trevino: Grizzly Adams did have a beard.”
“That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff!”
“- Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
- Happy Gilmore: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
- Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!”
What do ya got here, anyways? "Rainbow Alligator Saves the Wetlands?". Uh, no. "The Organic Squirrel Gets a Bike Helmet?". I'm not reading these Communist books to you guys! Don't you got any real stories?
“- Dr. Buddy Rydell: Let me explain something to you, Dave. There are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Chuck: I still remember the war.
- Dave Buznik: Oh, yeah?
- Chuck: Yeah, I remember waking up to the sound of bombs dropping and children screaming.
- Dave Buznik: Oh, you were in Vietnam?
- Chuck: No... Grenada.
- Dave Buznik: Didn't that, like, last only 12 hours?”
“You'd better not kill me, man, I've got shit to do tomorrow!”
“- Chubbs: What are you doing?
- Happy Gilmore: 364 days until next year's hockey tryouts, I have to toughen up.”
“- Rita: Is there a girl you're seein'?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Seein'? Uh, I see a lot of girls... I see a lot of guys too.
- Rita: I think that's sexy, you ever been with a guy and girl at the same time?
- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Oh yea, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my Mama and Coach Klein at the same time.”
“You're gonna die, clown!”
“- Happy Gilmore: I got into this tournament for one reason: money. And now I have a new reason: kicking your ass!
- Shooter McGavin: Well, I'd like to see you try.
- Happy Gilmore: [Picks up beer bottle and smashes it in half] Let's do it, then!
- Shooter McGavin: I meant on a golf course!”
“- Chubbs: You were great out there today.
- Happy Gilmore: Thank you.
- Chubbs: But not that great. A lot of that was luck.
- Happy Gilmore: Some might call it luck. I like to call it.. well, luck, I guess. So what?”
- Happy Gilmore: I'd love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal".
- Bob Barker: It's "The Price Is Right", Happy.
- Happy Gilmore: Oh, yeah. Sorry.
“- Happy Gilmore: A guy your size, why don't you play a real sport, like football?
- Chubbs: My Momma wouldn't sign the permission slip. Said it might be a little too dangerous.
- Happy Gilmore: Yeah, good call.”
“I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.”
“- Guy on Green: It's about time!
- Happy Gilmore: Yeah it is about time. I mean I just couldn't get the ball in the hole. I wanted to but I just couldn't do it.”