Jack Nicholson movie quotes

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
Jack Nicholson

“If it works, that's The Method.”
Jack Nicholson

I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence", and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean... (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall

“- Jack Torrance: I'm not gonna hurt you.
- Wendy Torrance: Stay away from me!
- Jack Torrance: Wendy? Darling? Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in! Gonna bash 'em right the fuck in!”
Jack Nicholson - Jack Torrance
Shelley Duvall - Wendy Torrance

“I only take viagra when I am with more than one woman.”
Jack Nicholson

“Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.”
Jack Nicholson - Edward

“The whole thing is to keep working and pretty soon they'll think you're good.”
Jack Nicholson

“If a guy's close to you, you can't slight 'im. You can't slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate you 'til the day he dies.”
Jack Nicholson - James R. Hoffa

“Somewhere, some lucky guy's having a heart attack.”
Jack Nicholson - Edward

“If there is any realistic deterrent to marriage, it's the fact that you can't afford divorce.”
Jack Nicholson

“You dream that if you discuss the revolution with a man before you go to bed with him, it'll be missionary work rather than sex.”

Jack Nicholson - Eugene O'Neill

“- Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.
- Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.
- Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.”
Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall
Helen Hunt - Carol Connelly

“There she is, the evening star. She shines first, she shines brightest, and she shines longest.”
Jack Nicholson - Garrett Breedlove

“Sarcasm is anger's uglycousin.”
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell

“It's not right to go into details, I got nervous. I screwed up, I said the wrong thing... Where if I hadn't, I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got a life. Instead I'm here with you. No offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug.”

Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall

“- Jack Torrance: The most terrible nightmare I ever had. It's the most horrible dream I ever had.
- Wendy Torrance: It's okay, it's okay now. Really.
- Jack Torrance: I dreamed that I... that I killed you and Danny. But I didn't just kill ya. I cut you up in little pieces. Oh my God. I must be losing my mind.”
Jack Nicholson - Jack Torrance
Shelley Duvall - Wendy Torrance

“You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, and the bombs, and the blood. I don't want money, and I don't want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy.”

Jack Nicholson - Col. Nathan R. Jessup

“Even in a time of intergalactic crisis, people still want to roll them bones.”
Jack Nicholson - Art Land

“- Harry Sanborn: Some people consider rap poetry.
- Erica Barry: C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with bitch?”
Jack Nicholson - Harry Sanborn
Diane Keaton - Erica Barry

“Life's a negotiation, it's all give and take.”

Jack Nicholson - James R. Hoffa

“Marriage in Hollywood is like a nice hot bath. It's just not that hot any more. It cools off after a short while.”
Jack Nicholson

“Money gets you laid.”
Jack Nicholson

“The simplest thing is... I loved him. And I miss him. Carter and I saw the world together. Which is amazing... when you think that only three months ago, we were complete strangers! I hope that it doesn't sound selfish of me but... the last months of his life were the best months of mine. He saved my life... and he knew it before I did.”
Jack Nicholson - Edward

“- Harry Sanborn: I have never lied to you. I have always told you some version of the truth.
- Erica Barry: The truth doesn't have versions, okay?”
Jack Nicholson - Harry Sanborn
Diane Keaton - Erica Barry

“- Margaret Larsen: There can't be such devils out there.
- Jerry Black: There are such devils.”

Patricia Clarkson - Margaret Larsen
Jack Nicholson - Jerry Black