“- J.D.: Well, you didn't know a lot of things. You didn't know I was gay.
- Wayne: Is there anything else you wanna tell me?
- J.D.: I got three balls.
- Wayne: Shut up! God!”
Jack Black - J.D.
Steve Zahn - Wayne

“- Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
- Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
- Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.”
Robert Hays - Ted Striker
Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson

“- Steven M. Kovacs: Just get out. I don't ever want to see you again. Robin is never going to forgive me!
- The Cable Guy: Well, I'll tell you how you handle that: don't tell her.”

Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Lisle Von Rhoman: You're scared as Hell... of yourself. Of the body you once knew.
- Madeline Ashton: I beg your pardon?
- Lisle Von Rhoman: I am the one who understands. I am the one who knows your secret.”
Isabella Rossellini - Lisle Von Rhuman
Meryl Streep - Madeline Ashton

“You must make me a promise. The secret that we share must never become public. You may continue your career for ten years. Ten years of perfect, unchanged beauty. But at the end of that time, before people start to become suspicious, you have to disappear from public view forever.”

Isabella Rossellini - Lisle Von Rhuman