“- Roy O'Dell: Time for desperate measures. What about my daughter?
- Jimmie Shannon: Absolutely not!
- Roy O'Dell: Why not? She's not good enough for you?
- Jimmie Shannon: She's fifteen!
- Roy O'Dell: Well, it's pretty late in the game for you to be Mr. Choosy.”
Hal Holbrook - Roy O'Dell
Chris O'Donnell - Jimmie Shannon

“- Mel: Have you even known the joys of having children?
- Richie: Never had a date.
- Clark: Never talked to a girl.”
Jon Lovitz - Mel
David Spade - Richie
Jon Heder - Clark

“- Lauren: I'm going out. I'm dating. I'm having fun.
- Trish: You date but you're not taking it seriously.”
Reese Witherspoon - Lauren
Chelsea Handler - Trish

- Deanne McKenzie: How about I take you out for a date night every Thursday?
- Kurt McKenzie: Well, Thursday night is "Grey's Anatomy", but any other night would be great.
Maya Rudolph - Deanne McKenzie
Chris Rock - Kurt McKenzie

It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married. I said, "Don't you want to get to know me more?". She said, "Why? Does it get better?".

Billy Bob Thornton - Ed Crane