“- Rusty Duritz: When do I learn how to drive?
- Russ Duritz: When you're sixteen.
- Rusty Duritz: When do I get a car?
- Russ Duritz: When you're eighteen.
- Rusty Duritz: When do I get a hickey?
- Russ Duritz: When you're seventeen.
- Rusty Duritz: When do I find out what a hickey is?
- Russ Duritz: Not tonight.”
Spencer Breslin - Rusty Duritz
Bruce Willis - Russ Duritz

“- Tibby: How old are you, anyway? 10?
- Bailey: I'm 12!
- Tibby: Same difference. - Bailey: No, when I was 10, I didn't have an iPod.
- Tibby: You're so cool. And what do you listen to on there, teletubbies hit parade?”
Amber Tamblyn - Tibby
Jenna Boyd - Bailey

“- Becca: We need more learning about things!
- Charlie Hinton: More learning about things?
- Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!”
Hailey Noelle Johnson - Becca
Eddie Murphy - Charlie Hinton

- Paul Philips: Franny! Watch your mouth!
- Franny Philips: Daddy, you're such a prude!
- Paul Philips: I didn't say "shit" until I was eighteen years old... and no one thought I was retarded.

John Lithgow - Paul Philips
Trini Alvarado - Franny Philips

They're too old to play "Doctor" and too young to do anything else.

Beatrice Winde - Corine