- Grandpa Gustafson: And finally, the baby bear looked and he said, "Somebody's sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldylocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair-trigger!
- Allie, Melanie's Daughter: That's not the way it goes!
- Grandpa Gustafson: And that was the end of the Three Bears.
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Katie Sagona - Allie, Melanie's Daughter

“The Shaman taught me that brave tales do not always have happy endings. I know what guns can do.”
Tanya Roberts - Sheena

“Old guy with a gun, it’s just kind of a funny story.”
Daniel Britt - Sheriff

“Now sometime before morning, I'm going to let off both barrels of this shotgun right at you. I don't know just what time it'll happen... whenever my finger gets to itching too much.”

Jean Arthur - Phoebe Titus

“You're gonna have a double hole blown clear through you. Maybe ten minutes, maybe two hours. All you have to do is sit comfortable until I think it's the right time.”

Jean Arthur - Phoebe Titus