Old age quotes327 old age quotes, film quotes, movie lines, taglines
“Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.”
“Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.”
“Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.”
What are they gonna put on your tombstone? "Here lies a man, 27 years old. He died, but he ain't no punk." Hey man, that's bullshit. Ok? You know when you die? When you're 89... got your children and your grandchildren around the bed... that's cool. It ain't cool to die at 27.
“First you are young; then you are middle-aged; then you are old; then you are wonderful.”
“Face it ladies, I'm older and I have more insurance.”
“I thought one of the advantages of marrying an older guy was that I was going to be able to relax. But all of this swimming and running and rowing, it’s just like how some of my relatives got into this country!”
- Howard: Death came first. She met me in the dog park.
- Madeline: Oh, so Death is a "her"?
- Howard: Uh, yeah. It turns out Death is an elderly white woman.
“- Dean Kansky: British women do not age well. Eight years ago she was a luscious treat, you know, she probably looked like, you know, Baby Spice, now she could look like...
- Jonathan Trager: Old Spice.”
“I'm ten-years-old. My life is half over and I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes!”
“- Mother: Tyler, why are you quiet?
- Tyler: Nana and Pop Pop are acting strange. Ow!
- Mother: What kind of strange? Becca, did you hit Tyler?
- Rebecca: No.
- Mother: Kids...
- Tyler: Pop Pop wears diapers and he keeps them in an outhouse and Nana walks around at night without her clothes and Pop Pop thinks strangers are following him.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
“My body aged quickly but for my heart it took more time.”
“You hit 41 and you don't burn calories like you used to.”
“- Murphy Jones: You are a miserable little son of a bitch, you know that? I don't know why she took you in the house... I'd bed you down with the dogs! And I'll tell you something else, mister, you may be a lot younger and stronger, but you're about to get your ass kicked from here to the state line... and I'm wearin' the boots that can do it!
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Romance is about the possibility of the thing. You see, it's about the time between when you first meet the woman, and when you first make love to her. When you first ask a woman to marry you, and when she says I do. When people who’ve been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they're really saying is they've exhausted the...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Is it possible that we two, you and I, have grown so old and so inflexible that we have outlived our usefulness?”
“I'm too old for this shit!”
“- John Gustafson: Did you hear, someone moved into the old Klickner place? A woman.
- John Gustafson: Yeah.
- Grandpa Gustafson: Did you mount her?
- John Gustafson: Oh, Dad!
- Grandpa Gustafson: Well the woman, does she have big thighs?
- John Gustafson: No!
- Grandpa Gustafson: No? Then what's the problem? If I was a young fella like you, I'd...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Granny Klump: The other day I got out of the shower, I bent down to reach for a towel and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord". I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.
- Mama Klump: You don't need a breast reduction,... (continue)(continue reading)