“They say in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king, well in the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!”

Chris Farley - Jimmy

“- Bernie Focker: You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!
- Pam Focker: Hey, Bernie!
- Bernie Focker: But do it only when it's dry. Don't do a wet one.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker
Teri Polo - Pam Focker

“Junior, when are you ever going to learn the difference between a rock and a nose?”

“- Cathy Palmer: What happened to your nose?
- Alan McMann: My nose? Oh... someone just tried to kill me.
- Cathy Palmer: They will stop at nothing to keep us from getting on that train.”
JoBeth Williams - Cathy Palmer
Tom Conti - Alan McMann

“People don't like to have fire poked, poked in their noses.”
Christopher Guest - Corky St. Clair