Jeff Daniels quotes
“She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: Harry, holy cow. I'm worried about you. You're as deaf as a bat.
- Harry Dunne: That's not exactly how it happened, Lloyd. Your mother got into bed with me.”
“- Harry Dunne: Mrs. P. What are you doing here?
- Dr. Walcott: Do you always call your wife Mrs. P?
- Harry Dunne: Oh. Uh - How you doin', sugar tits? I missed ya.”
“- Cochran: Miss Crane? I'd still like to talk to you.
- Emily: I have nothing to say.”
“- Emma: You're gonna get a champion roll in the hay.
- Tom Baxter: What, there's hay in the bedroom?”
“- Thomas Alden: It's amazing, isn't it, how they follow her around like that?
- Glen Seifert: It's called imprinting. The first living thing a goose sees when it's born, it automatically assume is its mother.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: I'll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
- Harry Dunne: You're on.”
“- Hackett: You call this spring? I'm freezing to death.
- Cochran: Doesn't feel cold to me.
- Hackett: That's because where you come from, twenty below's a heat wave.
- Cochran: At least where I come from, the people aren't colder than the weather. It's a dry cold, not like here. Doesn't feel the same.
- Hackett: Yeah, till your nose drops off....” (continue)(continue reading)
“Why do people like you who were adopted feel like they were rejected instead of selected?”
- Lloyd Christmas: Hey, you guys want to play "He Who Smelt It"?
- Harry Dunne: Yeah.
- Travis: What's that?
- Lloyd Christmas: It's complicated, so pay attention. We put the windows up, first one who smells a fart gets a point. If you say who dealt it, double points.
- Harry Dunne: But if you say you smelled a fart and nobody farted, like if we... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Steve Jobs: What's your resume?
- John Sculley: You're issuing contradictory instructions, you're insubordinate, you make people miserable, our top engineers are fleeing to Sun, Dell, HP, Wall Street doesn't know who's driving the bus, we've lost hundreds of millions in value and I'm the CEO of Apple, Steve, that's my resume!
- Steve Jobs: But...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Captain Lippencott: Why are you standing in the toilet?
- Harry Dunne: So you wouldn't see my feet.
- Captain Lippencott: Why not just stand on the rim?
- Harry Dunne: There's ball hairs all over that thing. I'm not stupid.”
“- John Sculley: We'd be talking about the most tectonic shift in the status quo since...
- Steve Jobs: ...ever.”
“Some came mainly because we were bored at home, thought this looked like it might be fun. Some came because we were ashamed not to. Many of us came because it was the right thing to do. And all of us have seen men die. This is a different kind of army. If you look back through history you will see men fighting for pay, for women, for some other...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Harry Dunne: That's weird. The smell of peanuts makes my weenie cold.
- Lloyd Christmas: It shrank mine.”
“- Harry: Well, I'm gonna go home, have some sex.
- Jack Traven: Harry, you're gonna go home and puke.
- Harry: Well that'll be fun too.”
“- Loan Officer: Who exactly are these sandwiches named after?
- Lewis: People I've admired.”
“Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly.”
“- John Sculley: But if you want me to stay, you can't have Steve. Settle him out. He can keep a share of stock so he gets our newsletter. I'd like the secretary to call for a vote.
- Steve Jobs: I fucking dare you.”