“Didn't yo mama eva tell you how ta treat a lady? That's not nice.”
Jamie Kennedy - Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman

“- Tucker: Hey, get... Get outta here.
- Boy: I saw her! I saw her, I saw her!
- Tucker: That wasn't nice.
- Gilbert: What? What'd I do?
- Tucker: You know what you did.
- Gilbert: Oh.
- Tucker: That's your mother in there. Your mother.”
John C. Reilly - Tucker Van Dyke
Nicholas Stojanovich - Boy
Johnny Depp - Gilbert Grape

“- Baravelli: Do you honor your father and mother?
- Titta: Yes, but they don't honor me. They beat me.
- Baravelli: You must annoy them.”
Gianfilippo Carcano - Baravelli
Bruno Zanin - Titta

“Moronica must expand! We shall lend our neighbors a helping hand, we shall lend them two helping hands... and help ourselves to our neighbors!”
Moe Howard - Moe Hailstone

“We can't win the old ball game unless we have teamwork. And that's where every John Doe comes in. It's up to him to get together with his teammate. And your teammate, my friends, is the guy next door to you.”

Gary Cooper - John Doe