“- Evelyn Greenslade: I don't know why I tell you anything.
- Muriel Donnelly: Because I'm older and wiser.
- Evelyn Greenslade: Nineteen days older.
- Muriel Donnelly: That's the entire lifespan of a wasp.”
Dame Judi Dench - Evelyn Greenslade
Maggie Smith - Muriel Donnelly

“- Lavinia: You’re probably thinking that I’m a little young to be staying at the Marigold Hotel.
- Kushal: Either that or your plastic surgeon is a genius!”
Tamsin Greig - Lavinia Beech
Shazad Latif - Kushal

“Don't get hit too hard on that head of yours, your brain's showing occasional signs of thought.”
Jason Davis - Mr. Mark

“I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps. Before we know it, they'll be running for Parliament.”
Matt Smith - Parson Collins

“- The Great Edgar: For my next experiment, I will saw the little maharaja in half.
- Charlie: I'm a victim of sawcumstances.”
Edgar Bergen - The Great Edgar
Charlie McCarthy - Charlie