Irony quotes

“Maybe I don't take myself quite as seriously as I used to, but the work has gotten better and more interesting, and I'm just having more fun.”
William Sadler

“- Zeus: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?
- Hades: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?”
Rip Torn - Zeus
James Woods - Hades

“- Pretty boy: I’m looking for the guy who runs this place.
- Joe: Well, that would be Our Father and He’s in Heaven.”

Shwayze - Pretty Boy
Brian Bosworth - Joe

“- Sam Wilson: Sounds like a hell of a fight, sorry I missed it.
- Steve Rogers: If I had known it was going to be a firefight I absolutely would have called you.
- Sam Wilson: No, I’m not actually sorry. I’m just trying to sound tough. I’m very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy.
-...” (continue) (continue reading)
Anthony Mackie - Sam Wilson
Chris Evans - Steve Rogers

“- Splinter: If Shredder is free, his reign of terror over the city will begin again.
- Leonardo: Exactly!
- Splinter: Then there is only one question: why are you wasting time talking to a grumpy old rat? Go get him!”
Peter Donald Badalamenti II - Splinter
Pete Ploszek - Leonardo

“- Charles Xavier: You sure I can't convince you to stay?
- Erik Lensherr: You're psychic, Charles. You can convince me to do anything.
- Charles Xavier: Goodbye, old friend.
- Erik Lensherr: Good luck, Professor.”
James McAvoy - Professor Charles Xavier
Michael Fassbender - Erik Lensherr

“Death by stereo!”

Corey Haim - Sam

“- Will Henry: I just did grown up stuff.
- Colette: What kind of grown-up stuff?
- Will Henry: You know, like, just walking around, doing a job, talking in the serious voice...”

Jemaine Clement - Will Henry
Gia Gadsby - Colette

“What are we, in the sixth grade? I'm not going to eat this.”

Elijah Wood - Waters

“- New Year's Eve Stranger: Isn't there some sort of tradition, if you're alone on New Year's Eve, that you're supposed to kiss a stranger?
- Adaline Bowman: [laughs]
- New Year's Eve Stranger: Dammit, you've heard it before?
- Adaline Bowman: Just once, from a young Bing Crosby.”
Mark Ghanimé - New Year's Eve Stranger
Blake Lively - Adaline Bowman

“All the money I spent on your education, I was hoping for stronger competition.”

Harrison Ford - William Jones

“- Beck Weathers: What do you do when you're not climbing, Doug?
- Doug Hansen: I deliver the mail.
- Beck Weathers: First mailman on Everest?
- Doug Hansen: Hope so!”
Josh Brolin - Beck Weathers
John Hawkes - Doug Hansen

“Daughters do not dance well with masticated brains.”
Charles Dance - Mr. Bennet

“- Lena Ballinger: Bathtubs are more dangerous than Everest.
- Luca Moroder: How true.”
Rachel Weisz - Lena Ballinger

“- Beca Mitchell: We're going to kick your ass.
- Female Das Sound Machine Leader: I'm sorry, I don't speak loser. What did you say?
- Male Das Sound Machine Leader: She actually speaks eight languages but 'loser' is not one of them.”
Anna Kendrick - Beca
Allie Feder - Female Das Sound Machine Leader
Andrew Fitzpatrick - Male Das Sound Machine Leader

“Here's what you guys are good at: working out, eating five hot meals a day. What you're not so good at, is doing what you're told.”

David Costabile - Bob

“It's not the altitude, it's the attitude.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Scott Fischer

“- Judy Hopps: Y'know, I think you might actually make a good cop.
- Nick Wilde: How dare you.”
Ginnifer Goodwin - Judy Hopps
Jason Bateman - Nick Wilde

“- Sabina Spielrein: When my father brought me to you I was very ill and my illness was sexual. It's clear that the subject I'm studying is entirely grounded in sexuality so naturally I'm becoming more and more acutely awake of the fact that I have no sexual experience.
- Carl Jung: Law students are not normally expected to rob banks.”
Keira Knightley - Sabina Spielrein
Michael Fassbender - Carl Jung

“My sister finally moves in with me. The problem is, she finally decides to do it when she's dead.”
Helen Mirren - Maria Altmann

“I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps. Before we know it, they'll be running for Parliament.”
Matt Smith - Parson Collins

“- Edgar: Read this.
- Sam: I told you I don't like horror comics.
- Alan: Think of it more as a survival manual. There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.
- Sam: I'll pray I never need to call you. Sure.”
Corey Feldman - Edgard Frog
Corey Haim - Sam
Jamison Newlander - Alan Frog

“You have no sense of humor, like a chair, or a supermodel.”

Nick Kroll - Professor Poopypants

“- Maria: I’ve finally returned to my quiet little life and begun to make peace with it.
- Randy: Say that again with conviction.
- Maria: Don’t be impertinent.”
Helen Mirren - Maria Altmann
Ryan Reynolds - Randol Schoenberg

“Two wayward travellers stuck in a Geo with a guy named Vic.”
Sandra Bullock - Sarah Lewis