“- Bert: Bert'll take care of you, just like I was your own father. Now who's after you?
- Jane: Father is.
- Bert: What!?”
Dick Van Dyke - Bert
Karen Dotrice - Jane Banks

“- Christina, Courtney: Jane! Janeyy!
- Jane: Sorry you guys, I'm really busy and...
- Christina, Courtney: Hey, wait, Jane
- Christina, Courtney: [singing] Do you like Pina Coladas? And getting caught in the rain...?
- Jane: ...Shit!”

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Christina Applegate - Courtney Rockcliffe
Selma Blair - Jane Burns

“This is like some fuckin' movie. Friends since second grade, fuckin' like this and then one of us gets himself in potentially big trouble, and now we've gotta deal with it; we've got to test our loyalty against all odds. It's kind of... exciting. I feel like... Chuck Norris, y'know?”
Crispin Glover - Layne

“It's the plight of all heroes today. In the air, they're terrific. But when they come back to Earth, they're weak, poor and helpless.”
Jean Renoir - Octave

“- Lord Peter Wimsey: What seems to be the trouble?
- Inspector Kirk: We're reconstructing the crime.”
Robert Montgomery - Lord Peter Wimsey
Leslie Banks - Inspector Kirk