“- Bernard: How is the sex?
- Dawn Campbell: The sex?
- Brad Stand: Come on, guys. Come on. That's private.
- Dawn Campbell: That's gross.
- Vivian: Our undercover surveillance shows it's been infrequent and short. Eight to nine minutes. Typically.”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernard
Naomi Watts - Dawn Campbell
Jude Law - Brad Stand
Lily Tomlin - Vivian

“- Claire Standish: Why didn't you want me to know that you are a virgin?
- Brian Johnson: Because it's my business, my personal business.
- John Bender: Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business.”
Molly Ringwald - Claire Standish
Anthony Michael Hall - Brian Johnson
Judd Nelson - John Bender

“When you sleep with the king it ceases to be a private matter.”
David Morrissey - The Duke of Norfolk

“I suppose he had a private sort of greatness, but he kept it to himself.”

Joseph Cotten - Jedediah Leland

You're a "genius" at everything but minding your own business, aren't you?

Gene Kelly - Danny McGuire