Lily Tomlin quotes
“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”
“For fast acting relief, try slowing down.”
“God has Alzheimer'z Disease. He's forgotten we exist.”
“All my life I've wanted to be somebody. But I see now I should have been more specific.”
“- Violet Newstead: I guess I must've made a mistake.
- Doralee Rhodes: You steal the wrong body from the hospital and all you can say is I must have made a mistake!
- Violet Newstead: It could happen to anyone.”
“If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done?”
“The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?”
“Where can you get a reasonably priced abortion in this town?”
“Once I get a hold of a character, get a hold of their essence, I'm just as excited the next time I create it.”
“I'm not organised. I'm tenacious.”
“When Kipling said 'Treat failure and success the same, they are both impostors', he could not have been living in Hollywood.”
“You are a footnote.”
“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.”
“I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry I ruined your birthday.”
“Love does not conquer everything.”
“- Sage: So you used to like men?
- Elle: I always liked women, I just didn't like myself.”
“- Vivian: Have you ever transcended space and time?
- Albert Markovski: Yes. No. Uh, time, not space... No, I don't know what you're talking about.”
“- Sage: Everyone's gonna talk about it at school!
- Elle Reid: What's he gonna say, 'Sage's grandma beat me up?'”
“- Doralee Rhodes: Is that one of those marijuana cigarettes?
- Violet Newstead: [under her breath] We don't have enough for everyone, cool it!”
“I like being old, young people are stupid.”
“- Edwina Cutwater: I don't see why you're getting so upset about all this.
- Roger Cobb: Because I want my body back. And I want my freedom and my privacy. And most of all, I'd like to be able to take a leak without being fondled.”