“You're the greatest actor in the world. Everybody knows that, including you.”

Carole Lombard - Maria Tura

“I didn't hire her for her scream, Jack, I hired her for her tits!”

Peter Boyden - Sam

“- Alan Swann: I haven't performed in front of an audience in 28 years! Audience? I played a butler. I had one line! I forgot it.
- Benjy Stone: Don't worry, this is gonna be easy.
- Alan Swann: For you, maybe. Not for me. I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!”
Peter O'Toole - Alan Swann
Mark Linn-Baker - Benjy Stone

“- Betsy Faye Sharon: She came in yesterday. I don't know who the hell she is. Her name is Naven, Maven, Slaven... Claven... there's no agent.
- David Barnes: Find her.
- Betsy Faye Sharon: Well, what if she can't act?
- Burton White: That never stopped us before!”
Carrie Fisher - Betsy Faye Sharon
Robert Downey Jr. - David Barnes

“- Don Lockwood: Tell me the truth, am I a good actor?
- Cosmo Brown: As long as I'm working for Monumental Pictures, you're the greatest of 'em all.”
Gene Kelly - Don Lockwood
Donald O'Connor - Cosmo Brown