“Soapdish” quotes

Movie Soapdish
Title Soapdish
Year 1991
Director Michael Hoffman
Genre Comedy, Romance
Plot – Celeste Thalberg is the star of the long-running soap opera “Even the Sun Sets”. Now that her first wrinkles are beginning to appear, the writers try to come up with changes to her role. One of them, in love with a buxom co-star who wants to undermine Celeste, finds an unemployed actor who also starred in the same soap opera and is also Celestes's former partner. The purpose is, needless to say, to damage the star of the show. From here on begins a carousel of intrigue and twists in pure soap style. The intent of the movie is to brilliantly and fiercely criticize the world of soap operas by using its own conventions in a comic way. The gags don't always hit home, but at least everything is very well served by the exceptional cast.
All actors – Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Robert Downey Jr., Cathy Moriarty, Elisabeth Shue, Whoopi Goldberg, Teri Hatcher, Garry Marshall, Kathy Najimy, Arne Nannestad, Paul Johansson, Sheila Kelley
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  • “The guy was killed in an auto accident! I looked it up! He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who's an ex-con named Frances, when a tractor trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that mean, it means he doesn't have a head. How am I suppose to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Whoopi Goldberg - Rose Schwartz
  • “- Jeffrey Anderson: You have beautiful eyes.
    - Ariel Maloney: Oh, they're nothing compared to my tits.”

    Kevin Kline - Jeffrey Anderson
    Teri Hatcher - Ariel Maloney
    [Tag:beauty, breast, eyes]
  • - Jeffrey Anderson: Come on, say it! "I want you, Jeffery. I'm consumed with jealousy for my neice, because I want you".
    - Celeste Talbert: Oh, please!
    - Jeffrey Anderson: Admit it, you have feelings for me.
    - Celeste Talbert: My feelings are about you, not for you. There's a big difference!

    Kevin Kline - Jeffrey Anderson
    Sally Field - Celeste Talbert
  • “- Celeste Talbert: I never said I was the best mother in the world. Give me a little credit, will you? Credit for being someone who tried to love you the only way she knew how.
    - Lori Craven: I know that speech.
    - Celeste Talbert: You do?
    - Lori Craven: Yeah, it was the Thanksgiving show, when Maggie meets Bolt's blind nephew.”

    Sally Field - Celeste Talbert
    Elisabeth Shue - Lori Craven
    [Tag:acting, sincerity]
  • - Betsy Faye Sharon: Very, very good, Mark. And very true. I love what you're doing. I just, I think if we could try it one more time, and this time... I don't know... maybe try one without your shirt.
    - Mark: Sure. "Will you be having wine with dinner?".
    - Betsy Faye Sharon: I think we've found our waiter!

    Carrie Fisher - Betsy Faye Sharon
    Costas Mandylor - Mark
  • “Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.”
    Whoopi Goldberg - Rose Schwartz
    [Tag:ability, actors]
  • “- Betsy Faye Sharon: She came in yesterday. I don't know who the hell she is. Her name is Naven, Maven, Slaven... Claven... there's no agent.
    - David Barnes: Find her.
    - Betsy Faye Sharon: Well, what if she can't act?
    - Burton White: That never stopped us before!”

    Carrie Fisher - Betsy Faye Sharon
    Robert Downey Jr. - David Barnes
  • “- Lori Craven: Hi. I'm Lori Craven and... I'm an actress.
    - Betsy Faye Sharon: An actress! Really! How nice for you! I'm Betsy Faye Sharon and I'm a bitch. Now get out of here.”

    Elisabeth Shue - Lori Craven
    Carrie Fisher - Betsy Faye Sharon
    [Tag:actors, meeting, scorn]
  • “- Montana Moorehead: You promised me you would get rid of Celeste. We were both naked and you promised! Naked!
    - David Barnes: Hey! We were never naked.
    - Montana Moorehead: Well, we could've been! Not only did you get rid of Celeste but you created Lori! This ingénue from hell! She has more lines than I do and she's a goddamn mute!!”

    Cathy Moriarty - Montana Moorehead
    Robert Downey Jr. - David Barnes
    [Tag:envy, jealousy, nudity]
  • “- Celeste Talbert: Next time, could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel? It's a little early in the day for me.
    - Bolt: I can't act in a swimsuit.”

    Sally Field - Celeste Talbert
    Paul Johansson - Bolt
  • - Celeste Talbert: There's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
    - Ariel Maloney: Bitch!
    - David Barnes: Hag!
    - Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

    Sally Field - Celeste Talbert
    Teri Hatcher - Ariel Maloney
    Robert Downey Jr. - David Barnes
    Cathy Moriarty - Montana Moorehead
  • “I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word ...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Garry Marshall - Edmund Edwards