“You may say that this falls into the great academic tradition of knowing more and more about less and less until we know everything about nothing.”

Julianne Moore - Dr. Alice Howland

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler

“I'm sorry you didn't get into Stanford. But if you think that going here is the only way that you can be the person you want to be, well, then I just feel sorry for you.”
Schuyler Fisk - Ashley

“- Frank Beardsley: William, what have you got there?
- William Beardsley: Academy applications, S.A.T. forms, Capital Summer Hill entry forms, and the number of the girl two houses down.
- Frank Beardsley: Outstanding!”
Dennis Quaid - Frank Beardsley
Sean Faris - William Beardsley