“I guess it's about time for our William Tell routine.”
Peter Weller - Bill Lee

“I like to rock n' roll all night and part of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.”
Paul Rudd - Danny

“- Heck: It's porn, right? It's degrading. It's offensive.
- Rachel: God yes.
- Heck: Yeah. Let's watch it anyway.”
Matthew Goode - Heck
Piper Perabo - Rachel

“- Carter: We need to get her to relax.
- Lee: Maybe we should put on a dirty movie. Only $9.95.”

Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

Do you know how many hours I spent looking for my "Temple of Poon" tape. One. That is a long time to be looking for porn.

Paulo Costanzo - Ryan