“For dead people they sure are smart.”

Stephen Gregory Foster - Christian Meyers

“Why don't you watch television or something? And keep it on cartoons, don't try to get smart!”
David Arquette - Gordon

“Spare him, my lord Rayden. American life has enfeebled his mind. Too much television.”
Lloyd Kino - Grandfather

“We are all corpses here! This rendezvous is one of the musical graveyards of the town. Caters to zombies hopping around with dead hearts and price tags for souls.”

Thomas Mitchell - Gene Gibbons

“- Geoff Montgomery: It's worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.
- Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats?”
Richard Carlson - Geoff Montgomery
Bob Hope - Larry Lawrence