“Once you're a parent, you're the ghost of your children's future.”
Matthew McConaughey - Cooper

“- Mr. Peabody: Badparents make bad children!
- Flo Healy: Oh so now I'm a badparent just because I hate my kid!
- Mr. Peabody: You took him, he's yours!
- Little Ben Healy: That's because you conned us into him!
- Mr. Peabody: What am I supposed to do with the little creep? He's already been returned 30 times!”
Gilbert Gottfried - Mr. Peabody
Amy Yasbeck - Flo Healy
John Ritter - Benjamin 'Ben' Healy, Jr.

“- Anne-Marie: Charlie, will you help me find a mom and dad?
- Charlie B. Barkin: Kid, I'll help you find the lost city of Atlantis! Just please, please go to sleep!”
Judith Barsi - Anne-Marie
Burt Reynolds - Charlie B. Barkin

“- Lucy Van Patten Brodsky: Do you have kids?
- Woman at Party: Yeah, but I'm not into parenting right now.”
Shelley Lee Long - Lucy Van Patten Brodsky
Ida Random - Woman at Party

“People always say that you can't choose your parents, but you can't choose your children.”
James Rebhorn - Herbert Greenleaf