“It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.”
Albert Finney - Ed Bloom - Senior

“- Paulie: Hit the brakes, ugly.
- Benny: That's cute. You train the bird to insult your customers?
- Paulie: No, I could tell you're ugly all by myself.”

Jay Mohr - Paulie
Jay Mohr - Benny

“- Reporter: Would you like to give us a word or two?
- Kitty Baxter: I'll give you three: go to hell.”
Sean Wayne Doyle - Reporter
Lucy Liu - Kitty Baxter

“- Ray Aibelli: Helen, can you do me a favor? Shut your big fat mouth for once! Helen. Helen, wait. I'm sorry! Ok? Please, don't go. Give me one sec... Helen? I'm sorry. I swear to God, I didn't mean to.
- Aunt Helen: You said I had a fat mouth!”

Jeremy Davies - Ray Aibelli
Judette Jones - Aunt Helen

“Don't say anything. Your words would be useless, maybe even insulting. Just fly the damn plane.”
Warren Clarke - Pavel Upenskoy