Religion quotes

“I was very ill last summer. For a while, I thought I was a goner. I woke up one night in my hospital bed, and I saw, standing there, a tall man, wearing a white robe, with a long white beard. I said, 'Who are you?' He said, 'I am the Holy Ghost.' I said, 'Where are the Father and the Son?' He said, 'They're out of town.' I'm not a religious man,...” (continue) (continue reading)
Harry Ruby

“I’m a religious woman, there’s no question, but I have also been to medical school. And, well, you can say that I hold science in one hand and God in the other, and that is not always an easy balance.”
Cherry Jones - Dr. Muldoon

“You can give someone your delusion, Sara. That's religion.”
Tilda Swinton - Dr. Klemperer

“As my ancestors are free from slavery, I am free from the slavery of religion.”
Butterfly McQueen

“Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!”
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby

“I love Jesus Christ and his mother Mary as much as anybody. About 38 churches you could move that creche to, everybody lives.”
Tom Hanks - Charlie Wilson

“- Mark Baum's Mom: Then what's the problem, rabbi?
- Rabbi: It's the reason Mark is studying so hard. He's looking for inconsistencies in the word of God!
- Mark Baum's Mom: So has he found any?”

Carrie Lazar - Mark Baum's Mom
David Zalkind - Rabbi

“- Harlan: I'm converting to a Catholic.
- Lillian: And I'm converting to a blonde.”
Dennis Lipscomb - Harlan
Debbie Harry - Lillian

“The cross is bloodstained. It loves. It forgives. It demands.”
Ted McGinley - Matthew

“For a Muslim woman, marriage is a lilting dance of duality, strength and submission. Beautiful, selfless, rapturous love of two masters, the carnal and the divine. The life a Muslim woman lives is a dangerous and difficult one. If she does not submit to her husband, there is a spot reserved for her in Hell. Yes. My husband kissed me before he...” (continue) (continue reading)
Melissa Benoist - Katherine Russell

“Sometimes the brain is still active for a few minutes after the beheading. But to be honest, I can't imagine a worse kind of hell. And unfortunately, hell is probably where he'll end up because the Christians don't look too kindly on the whole Force thing.”
Alex Borstein - Lois Griffin as Princess Leia

“- Eddie Mannix: Bless me, father, for I have sinned.
- Priest: How long since your last confession, son?
- Eddie Mannix: 27 hours.
- Priest: It's really too often. You're not that bad.”
Josh Brolin - Eddie Mannix
Robert Pike Daniel - Catholic Clergyman

“You believe in the angels or the saints or there's such a thing as a state of grace. And you believe it, but it's got nothing to do with reality. It's just an idea.”
Sean Penn - Terry Noonan

“The truth is what everybody accepts. Right, Owen? I mean, psychiatry: it's the latest religion. We decide what's right and wrong. We decide who's crazy or not. I'm in trouble here. I'm losing my faith.”
Madeleine Stowe - Kathryn Railly

“He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it.”

Chris Rock - Rufus

“- Daxiat: This may sound strange coming from me, but I think your husband, Lucas Steiner, was wrong to leave France. The new anti-Israelite theater laws apply to spectators and profiteers. But your husband, Mme. Steiner, was a gem. He was the only Israelite theater director...
- Marion Steiner: You may say 'Jewish'.
- Daxiat: Yes. He was the...” (continue) (continue reading)
Jean-Louis Richard - Daxiat
Catherine Deneuve - Marion Steiner

“You really are a fuckin' moron, you know that? I'm gonna call up the big tobacco companies and thank them for burying you!”
Joseph Rigano - Himself

“Hello. Yes, Reverend Mosby... Uh-huh. I'll certainly ask him but I doubt if he'll be available. I understand it's for a local charity. Um-hmmm... I'm writing it all down [she writes nothing down]. Okay, got it. Sounds very worthwhile, I-agree but unfortunately, I see that Mr. Parker will be out of the country those days. Yes, I'll be sure to...” (continue) (continue reading)

Elaine Hendrix - Meredith Blake

“Never give up your religion. Not for God. God is present in all religions. But if your life becomes a struggle for acceptance, you'll always be unhappy.”
Ralph Fiennes - Adam Sors

So the Biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin", which was a pretty easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But back then it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention.
Benicio del Toro - Franky Four Fingers

“The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.”
Richard Burton

“- Red: That's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells.
- Dale Denton: Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back...” (continue) (continue reading)

Danny McBride - Red
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“- Bunny Breckinridge: How do you get all your friends to get baptized just so you can make a monster movie?
- Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It's not a monster movie. It's a supernatural thriller.”
Bill Murray - Bunny Breckinridge
Johnny Depp - Ed Wood

“I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.”
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton Jr.

“And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”

Graham Kartna - Homeschooled Boy