“Now your kids with your loud music, and your Dan Fogleberg, your Zima, hula hoops and Pac-man video games, don't you see? People today have attention spans that can only be measured in nanoseconds!”
Ernest Borgnine - Ted Denslow

“I can't have a baby because I have a 12:30 lunch meeting.”
Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt

“Spending time with one’s children is greatly overrated.”
Holland Taylor - Evelyn Harper

“The longer I'm married to you the more you sound like my mother.”

Michael Murphy - Martin

“They wouldn't give me five minutes to consumate my marriage. Five minutes!”
Matthew Settle - Ens. Keith Larson