“- Clark Griswold: So, this is the old homestead, eh?
- Cousin Eddie: Yeah. I don't know for how much longer, though. The bank's been after me like flies on a rib roast.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie

“- Nelson Moss: What are you doing?
- Sara Deever: Taking your shirt off.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara: So you can clean up.
- Nelson Moss: Why?
- Sara Deever: Because you smell like puppy pee.”
Keanu Reeves - Nelson Moss
Charlize Theron - Sara Deever

“Damn Bud, ya'll live like pigs!”
Brooke Alderson - Aunt Corene

“- Coach Gary Gaines: So how is it out there?
- Ivory Christian: They're fast, they're big, they're dirty... plus they're fast.
- Coach Gary Gaines: You said that already.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Coach Gary Gaines
Lee Jackson - Ivory Christian

“Insurance companies. See, all the banks is insured now, and that's who takes the loss. And hell, they're the biggest crooks of 'em all. We are just little thieves stealing from the big thieves, that's all.”
Matthew McConaughey - Willis Newton