“- Jelly: I'm gonna get a bite to eat. You wanna sandwich or somethin'?
- Miami Hall Guard: What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening?
- Jelly: A half a sandwich.”
Joe Viterelli - Jelly
Dave Corey - Miami Hall Guard

“- Julia: The best hot dogs in Judgement City are supposed to be over by the Hall of Records.
- Daniel Miller: You really love this eating thing, don't you?
- Julia: To be able to eat as much as you want, never gain an ounce and feel great. Please.”
Meryl Streep - Julia
Albert Brooks - Daniel Miller

“- Det. Karl Francis Hettinger: You feel like another piece?
- Det. Ian James Campbell: Nah, I just got my weight below 200.
- Det. Karl Francis Hettinger: At least you're tall enough to carry it. Married life's making me feel like an avocado with feet.”

John Savage - Det. Karl Francis Hettinger
Ted Danson - Det. Ian James Campbell

“- Dad: If you eat so much, Moocher, how come you're so damned small?
- Moocher: It's my metabolism. I eat 3 times a day and my metabolism eats 5 times a day.”
Paul Dooley - Dad
Jackie Earle Haley - Moocher

“I want you to think of what you ate today. Got it? Now cut that in half, this is called a diet, people, everyone start one today! Darcy, you should stop eating. You see, when you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores. And if you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass!”
Ian Roberts - Sparky Polastri