“Analyze This” quotes(1999)
Harold Ramis directed this movie in 1999
Title Analyze This
Director Harold Ramis
Genre Comedy, Crime
Director Harold Ramis
Genre Comedy, Crime
Plot – Paul Vitti is one of the most powerful gangsters in New York. Manetta has been his mentor and adoptive father because his real one had been killed. When Paul is ready to manage his crime family affairs, suddenly he suffers from respiratory problems and everyone is worried. What if other criminals would find out that Vitti suffers from panic attacks? Who would conduct the family business?
All actors – Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow, Chazz Palminteri, Kresh Novakovic, Bart Tangredi, Michael Straka, Joseph Rigano, Joe Viterelli, Richard C. Castellano, Molly Shannon, Max Casella, Frank Pietrangolare, Kyle Sabihy, Bill Macy, Rebecca Schull, Pat Cooper, Leo Rossi, Aasif Mandvi, Neil Pepe, Tony Darrow, Michael Haley, Ian Marioles, DonnaMarie Recco, Vince Cecere, Jimmie Ray Weeks, Bob Cea, William Hill, Ira Wheeler, Luce Ennis, Elizabeth Bracco, Gina Gallagher, Francesca Mari, Vinny Vella Jr., Mickey Bruno, Dave Corey, Fred Workman, Daniel W. Barringer, John Polce, Drew Eliot, Grace DeSena, New York Joe Catalfumo, Michael Guarino Jr., Michael Harkins, Paula Raflo, Ondine Harris, Matthew Vega, Clem Caserta, Tony Ray Rossi, Judith Kahan, Ted Neustadt, Pasquale Cajano, Gene Ruffini, Alfred Sauchelli Jr., Tony DiBenedetto, Frank Aquilino, Tony Bennett, , Albert Anastasia, Joseph Bonanno, Frank Costello, Albert Gallo, Joe Gallo, Larry Gallo, Carlo Gambino, Vito Genovese, Kenny Alfonso, Tracie Bruce, Phillip V. Caruso, Anthony Caso, Neal A. Corl, Richard D'Alessandro, Trish Dempsey, Tony Devon, Russell Gibson, Joseph Hardin, Michael Rothberger, Anthony Russoshow all
“Analyze This” Quotes 27 quotes
“Here's what I think you should do. I would do whatever he says. If he wants you to talk, talk. I would get on all fours and bark like a dog. I would do whatever it takes. Smoke some joints! Drink some wine! Whatever it is, to get off on each other and be happy. I mean, come on, look at the two of you! Where are you running? This is the time to...” (continue)(continue reading)
“If I talk to you, and you turn me into a fag... I'm gonna kill you , you understand?”
“This is your mother's fault. It's like voodoo. She knows where I am every second.”
“If I can't get it up, that makes me less of a man, and I can't have that. In my world I deal with animals. They may seem dumb to an educated guy like you, but make no mistake. Animals are very cunning, and they sense weakness.”
“1957 was a big year. The Russians put that Sputnik into outer space, the Dodgers played their last game at Ebbets Field to say goodbye to Brooklyn, that guy shot Frank Costello in the head, and missed, and the Gallo brothers whacked Albert Anastasia in the barber shop of the Sheraton View hotel. It was total chaos.”
“- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why do you have a girlfriend?
- Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
- Paul Vitti: That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?”
“- Dr. Ben Sobel: Freud believed you're everyone in your dreams.
- Paul Vitti: Fuck Freud. After what you just told me, you know, I'm afraid to call my own mother on the phone!”
- Paul Vitti: Jelly, did they find that note?
- Jelly: No, but they will in a minute.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't fucking take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy".
- Jelly: That's good, Doc.
- Paul Vitti: You're turning me down?
- Dr. Ben Sobel: When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind.
- Paul Vitti: You, with your schmucky little office in your schmucky little home, you're turning me down? For what, so you can go back and listen to housewives piss and moan about how nobody fucks 'em right anymore?
“Dad has a patient who thinks he shits trout.”
“- Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
- Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
- Paul Vitti: No.”
“- Caroline: What do you think I should do?
- Dr. Ben Sobel: What I think you should do... is stop whining about this pathetic loser.”
“You have to channel all this nice grief into a murderous rage.”
“You know what I do when I'm angry? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.”
“- Jelly: I'm gonna get a bite to eat. You wanna sandwich or somethin'?
- Miami Hall Guard: What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening?
- Jelly: A half a sandwich.”
“- Jimmy Boots: You think those whales piss in that water?
- Jelly: No, I think they use the men's room next to the Burger King.”
“- Dr. Ben Sobel: I have to say, not being able to perform three or four times...
- Paul Vitti: Eight times.
- Dr. Ben Sobel: ...eight times, is not catastrophic.”
“- Dominic Manetta: Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.
- Paul Vitti: What, am I supposed to get a fuckin' website?”