“- Flo Addams: Maybe he won't wanna leave. He told me on a postcard he's in a grand hideout and having a swell time with his mental disorder.
- Little John Sarto: If he ever told you that on a postcard, maybe they ought to keep him in there.”

Ann Sothern - Flo Addams
Edward G. Robinson - Little John Sarto

“- Jack Lawrence: He was lying to me, but he made me feel good.
- Carrie Lawrence: What do you mean he lied to you?
- Jack Lawrence: Lied right to my face. Big-time lie.
- Carrie Lawrence: How do you know?
- Jack Lawrence: I'm a lawyer. People lie to me all the time.”
Billy Crystal - Jack Lawrence
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Carrie Lawrence

“- Sarah: You're the only actor in the world who can't lie. If you can't touch somebody you created, how can you create somebody that'll touch anybody?
- Johnny: What are you going on about?
- Sarah: Acting. And bringing something to life, it's the same thing. That's why you can't get a job acting, because you can't feel anything.”
Samantha Morton - Sarah
Paddy Considine - Johnny

“- Donkey: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her that quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?
- Princess Fiona: Just tell her she's not your true love!”
Eddie Murphy - Donkey
Cameron Diaz - Princess Fiona

“- Julia: Do you have a hot tub in your room?
- Daniel Miller: No... why? Do you?
- Julia: No! No... it's more like a... it's not even really a hot tub. Y'know, really it just has holes in it...
- Daniel Miller: You don't have to protect my feelings. It's okay if you've got a got tub.
- Julia: Well then I do!”
Meryl Streep - Julia
Albert Brooks - Daniel Miller