“- Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
- Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?”
Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
Mike Myers - Austin Powers

“- Tom Sanders: I did not have sex with her!
- Susan Hendler: Oh, then what was it Tom? She was trying to quit smoking?”
Michael Douglas - Tom Sanders
Caroline Goodall - Susan Hendler

“Remember, boys! Stay away from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this!
[shows his right hand]”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach

“- Health Clinic Counselor: Now, there are ways of having sex without intercourse. Let's see, there are things like body rubbing or dry humping.
- Andy: You could dry hump.
- Health Clinic Counselor: There's masturbation.
- Andy: Masturbation. Play with yourself.
- Health Clinic Counselor: Mutual masturbation.
- Andy: Play with a friend.”
Nancy Carell - Health Clinic Counselor
Steve Carrell - Andy

“- Meghan: I'm not sucking dick for crack.
- Hulk: What you're sucking dick for then?
- Meghan: Nothing!”
Elizabeth Banks - Meghan