“Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” quotes

Movie Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Title Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Year 1997
Director Jay Roach
Genre Comedy, Crime
Plot – London, 1967. Austin Powers is a young man addicted to Carnaby Street’s fashion. He attends several parties and he goes out with many girls. He’s a fashion photographer by day, while at night he becomes a spy at the service of Her Majesty, ready to go into action at the first hint of trouble. After completing another mission, Austin gets hibernated and defrosted after thirty years in order to face again his old enemy, Dr. Evil who, together with the multinational Virtucon, threatens the world with the "Project Vulcan". Austin is assisted by the efficient and charming agent Vanessa, the daughter of one friend of him back in the sixties. Austin begins to insistently flirt with her. The two arrive in Las Vegas, they enter in the underground quarters of Evil, they are captured but then released, they face a group of female robots and other dangers and they finally defeat the malefic Dr. Evil. Austin now realizes he has to control his exuberant sexuality if he wants to conquer Vanessa.
All actors – Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Michael York, Mimi Rogers, Robert Wagner, Seth Green, Fabiana Udenio, Mindy Sterling, Paul Dillon, Charles Napier, Will Ferrell, Joann Richter, Anastasia Sakelaris, Afifi Alaouie, Monet Mazur, Mark Bringelson, Clint Howard, Elya Baskin, Carlton Lee Russell, Daniel Weaver, Neil Mullarkey, Lea Sullivan, Chekesha Van Putten, Heather Marie Marsden, Sarah Christine Smith, Laura Payne-Gabriel, Joe Son, Tyde Kierny, Larry Thomas, Cheryl Bartel, Cindy Margolis, Donna W. Scott, Barbara Ann Moore, Cynthia Lamontagne, Brian George, Kaye Wade, Steve Monroe, Vince Melocchi, Patrick Bristow, Jim McMullan, Robin Gammell, Ted Kairys, Burt Bacharach, Douglas Aarniokoski, Lana Antonova, Tom Arnold, Kira Burt, Neill Calabro, Bruno Campolo, Lois Chiles, Lisa Danielle, Elwood Edwards, Carrie Fisher, Joe Grisaffi, Susanna Hoffs, Stuart D. Johnson, Mike Judge, Hannah Kozak, Erik Liberman, Rob Lowe, Michael McDonald, John Michael, Alex Morissen, Stephane Nicoli, Cheri Oteri, Gwenda Perez, Priscilla Presley, Ben Scott, John-Clay Scott, Christian Slater, Matthew Sweet, Patricia Tallman, Andreanna Veith, Sterling Wolfe
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  • “- Vanessa Kensington: What's your plan?
    - Austin Powers: [nervously] First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?”

    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
  • “- Scott Evil: I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.
    - Therapist: He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.
    - Dr. Evil: No actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully.”

    Seth Green - Scott Evil
    Carrie Fisher - Therapist
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:hatred, killing]
  • “- Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
    - Basil Exposition: What's the other?
    - Austin Powers: Excuse me?
    - Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
    - Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Michael York - Basil Exposition
    [Tag:fear, war]
  • “- Vanessa Kensington: Always wanting to have fun, Austin. That's you in a nutshell!
    - Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell. [acts as if he were in a nutshell] Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this nutshell? Look at the size of this bloody great big nutshell! What sort of shell has a nut like this? This is crazy!”

    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
  • “- Austin Powers: Only sailors use condoms, baby.
    - Vanessa Kensington: Not in the 90's, Austin.
    - Austin Powers: Well they should, those filthy beggars. They go from port to port.”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
  • “- Vanessa Kensington: Did you use protection?
    - Austin Powers: Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
    - Vanessa Kensington: You know I meant 'did you use a condom'?”

    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
  • “There's nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster.”
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:aging, sadness]
  • “- Vanessa Kensington: Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you.
    - Austin Powers: What's your point, Vanessa?”

    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:denial, sex]
  • “- Dr. Evil: Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!
    - Number Two: Prince Charles did have...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    Robert Wagner - Number Two
    [Tag:blackmail, past]
  • - UN Delegate: So, Mr. Evil...
    - Dr. Evil: It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister", thank you very much.

    John Michael - UN Delegate
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:doctors, name]
  • Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:gender, sex]
  • “- Basil Exposition: Austin, the Cold War is over!
    - Austin Powers: Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?
    - Basil Exposition: Austin... we won.
    - Austin Powers: Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!”

    Michael York - Basil Exposition
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
  • “- Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
    - Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
    - Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
  • “My name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.”
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:danger, name]
  • “- Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
    - Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
    - Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
    - Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
    - Scott Evil: You always do that!”

    Seth Green - Scott Evil
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:animals, evil, job]
  • “- Scott Evil: I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!
    - Dr. Evil: Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.”

    Seth Green - Scott Evil
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:hatred, science]
  • “You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!”
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:request, weapons]