Jason Biggs quotes
“Payback's a dish better served cold.”
“Remind me, please, to put him on my Christmas list, if I could figure out how to make a letter bomb.”
“- Michelle Flaherty: Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
- Jim Levenstein: I want to feel your boobs.
- Michelle Flaherty: No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.”
“- Jim Levenstein: Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches.
- Stifler: Cause he fuckin' bit me!
- Finch: You touch me, I bite.”
“I was just saying how strange life is, how it's full of inexplicable mystery.”
“He's in love with someone who's not in love with him. How do you think he is?”
“I feel like committing suicide, but I've got so many problems, that wouldn't solve them all.”
“- Jim Levenstein: Amazing.
- Stifler: Yes, the force is strong in that one.”
“- Judith: Ok, then. No more sex!
- Darren: What?
- Judith: You're not allowed to go down on me for a month!
[Darren is about to speak, but Judith cuts him off]
- Judith: Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges!”
- Paul Tannek: Dora, you ever consider being in love and leaving out the "madly" part?
- Dora Diamond: Well, what's the fun in that?
“- Paul Tannek: Are you referring to the illegal drugs you disperse at parties?
- Chris: What are you talking about? What, are you gonna turn into a narc on us?”
“- Dora Diamond: It isn't ennobling, being poor. It just makes you mean.
- Paul Tannek: Yeah, that's why all the really nice people are rich.”
“- Finch: I am not touching that!
- Jim Levenstein: Put that thing away, Stifler.
- Stifler: What's wrong with you guys? We almost had them. Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing.”
- Jim Levenstein: Maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think... I think that underneath all the "fucks" and "shits" and "blow me's", there's a very sensitive person who's just thirsty for acceptance. That's... that's what I think.
- Michelle Flaherty: Oh, Jim... you gotta stop masturbating... it's melting your brain.
“- Jim Levenstein: Guys guys guys, here's an easy one, okay: 'Attractive single white female, fun-loving, youthful mind seeks outgoing companion. Okay; Attractive: ugly.
- Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher: Fun loving: insane.
- Kevin Myers: Okay, 'unlisted age' plus 'youthful mind' equals 'Old'.
- Jim Levenstein: No, no no no, 'charming' is old; 'older' is...” (continue)(continue reading)