“- Gus Portokalos: You better get married soon. You're starting to look... old!
- Toula Portokalos [narrating]: He's been telling me this ever since I was 15.”
Michael Constantine - Gus Portokalos
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos

“- Charlotte: 25 years. It's impressive.
- Bob Harris: You sleep one-third of your life, that knocks out eight years of marriage right there. So you're down to 16 in change. You know you're just a teenager, at marriage, you can drive it but there's still the occasional accident.”
Scarlett Johansson - Charlotte
Bill Murray - Bob Harris

“- Ed Bloom - Young: Your last name is different. You married.
- Jenny - Young: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.”
Ewan Gordon McGregor - Ed Bloom - Young
Helena Bonham Carter - Jenny - Young

“- Caroline Lord: Dexter, are you ever going to get married again?
- C. K. Dexter-Haven: Sure I am, I'm just waiting for you to grow up.
- Caroline Lord: Oh Dexter, for you I'll hurry.
- C. K. Dexter-Haven: You're gonna have to.”
Lydia Reed - Caroline Lord
Bing Crosby - C. K. Dexter-Haven

“I think Gwen was mostly upset that I'd gotten married before her, seeing as how I was so much younger.”

Evan Rachel Wood - Harriet Frankovitz