“If I found a man who had 15 million dollars, would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.”

Bette Davis

“- Jay Murphy: You're an idiot.
- Max Abbitt: Yet you're the one in therapy.
- Jay Murphy: You're the one who should be.
- Max Abbitt: Maybe you can get me in! I've always wanted to pay a hundred bucks an hour to talk myself out of being happy.”
Jason Lee - Jay Murphy
David Schwimmer - Max Abbitt

“Julie-Oh, classy choice, Jimmy, although it's pretty obvious that you're with her because you can't be with Kirsten. You know, I think in psychology that's called transference.
Jimmy-Oh, and you marrying Caleb, I think in psychology that's called shameless gold-digging”
Melinda Clarke - Julie Cooper
Tate Donovan - Jimmy Cooper

“That philanthropic cocksucker left all the money to the poor and not a dirty dime to me! Oh, Mary, Mother of God, what have I ever done to you? Life... without money is no goddamned life at all! You know that!”

Dana Ivey - Mrs. Essendine

“I been savin' this money for a divorce, if ever I got a husband.”
Lillian Randolph - Annie