David Schwimmer quotes
“True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.”
“All I did wrong was try and save money. I tried to buy what I needed for less.”
“- Charlie: I put him in the septic tank.
- Gus: Who?
- Charlie: The corpse.
- Gus: What corpse?
- Charlie: The reverend's corpse.
- Gus: He wasn't a corpse when I left him, Charlie.”
“- Melman: What, you don't have doctors here?
- Stephen: Well not any more.
- Melman: What if you catch a cold or something.
- Additional Giraffe: We go over to the dying holes, and we die.”
“- Charlie: Did you check her pulse?
- Josie McBroom: Well I assumed that when you have an axe lodged in your skull, your pulse tends to bottom out on you.”
“Gloria, it wasn't the pills or the tourists, it was seeing you all these years that kept me going.”
“- Max Abbitt: I'm not gonna depress myself, and sit in my room all night listening to Barry Manilow records.
- Jay Murphy: Hey, that was a radio special!”
“You'd better treat this lady like a queen. Because you, you my friend... have found the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect woman, I would give her flowers every day. And not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids. White. And I would bring her breakfast every day. Six loaves of wheat bread with butter on both...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Marty: Aw a thermometer! Thanks!I love it Melman, I love it!
- Melman: I really wanted to give you a personal present. Do you know that was my first rectal thermometer?”
“- Gus: Did you know that the priest was alive when you killed him?
- Charlie: No!
- Gus: There you go then!”
“I love you, Gloria! I always have! Like you love the beach, or a good book, or the beach...”
“- Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?
- Monica: I'll have a latte.
- Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.
- Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little...
- Phoebe: You know, I was just being polite.”
“Ever have sex in a Mercedes? Convertible.”
“- Gus: What are you doing?
- Charlie: He's crying. Jesus, Gus, he's crying for what we've done, for our sin.”
“- Max Abbitt: I thought we agreed not to set each other up anymore.
- Jay Murphy: No, I agreed not to let you set me up anymore after that girl who you said was perfect for me tied me up and came out with that hood and cane and offered to beat the shit out of me.”
“- Joey: You just want to stay here and wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
- Ross: Yeah. I mean, this guy could be my baby's stepfather.
- Joey: They go out on one date and you worry about her marrying him?”
“- Ross: What are you doing tonight?
- Chandler: Why, do you have a lecture?
- Ross: No.
- Chandler: Free as a bird, what's up?”