“- Tim O'Hara: O'Hara here, leave a message, keep it short.
- Mr. Channing: Channing here, you're fired. Short enough for you?”
Jeff Daniels - Tim O'Hara
Michael Lerner - Mr. Channing

“Up until 8 weeks ago, I worked for the FBI Miami... secretary... until I got fired for having a defective husband.”
Demi Moore - Erin Grant

“The only thing I wish for you, and I wish it most sincerely, I wish you would get fired.”

Matt Dillon - Jay Phillips

“- Lawrence Van Dough: 37-and-a-half miles of driveway, and you park in the 5 feet with a puddle!
- Chauffeur: I'm very sorry, sir.
- Lawrence Van Dough: You're very sorry? Well, in that case, find another job.”
John Larroquette - Lawrence Van Dough
David Fawcett - Chauffeur

“- Ollie Quinn: Officer Raymer is currently under suspension.
- Judge Flatt: Anesthesia is what he should be under.”
Jerry Mayer - Ollie Quinn
Philip Bosco - Judge Flatt