“- Terry Ann Wolfmeyer: Your father is a small man. A very small man!
- Hadley Wolfmeyer: I hope you're not referring to his genitals because that would just be gross.”
Joan Allen - Terry Ann Wolfmeyer
Alicia Witt - Hadley Wolfmeyer

“- Dudley Smith: For the love of God, don't be a detective. Stick to assignments where you don't have...
- Ed Exley: Dudley, I know you mean well, but I don't need to do it the way you did. Or my father.”

James Cromwell - Dudley Smith
Guy Pearce - Ed Exley

“- Lydia Hillard: It's your job to be our father.
- Daniel Hillard: No it's not a job, it's a joy being your father, I don't have to play the part of your father, I am your father, I may act like a fool, but I am your father, okay?”
Lisa Jakub - Lydia Hillard
Robin Williams - Daniel Hillard

“When I graduated first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.”
Norm MacDonald - Frank

“My daddy works on a computer all day, and is the head of his company and he, um, he has a moustache and a beard, and he... he doesn't have a lot of hair, and cuz... um, since his head is so big, he can't wear any hats.”
Sarah Rose Karr - Emma