“Jane divorced her husband. I never knew him, it was before I met her. Apparently she came home from work unexpectedly one morning and found him in bed with the milkman. Honest to God, the milkman! But from that day forward I've noticed she never takes milk in her tea.”
Pauline Collins - Shirley Valentine

“- Marcy Tizard: Go back to your wife!
- Sean Kelly: My ex-wife. We're going through with the divorce.
- Marcy Tizard: They don't have divorce in Ireland.
- Sean Kelly: They do. It just got in.”
Janeane Garofalo - Marcy Tizard
David O'Hara - Sean Kelly

“Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man.”
Reese Witherspoon - Melanie Smooter

“- Lucille: A lot of other men I could have married, Eddie - still are!
- The Shoveller: I understand.
- Lucille: If one person vomits in my pool, I'm divorcing you!
- The Shoveller: That's fair.”

Jenifer Lewis - Lucille
William H. Macy - Shoveler

“When a woman unloads a husband, or a husband unloads a woman, however it happens, death, desertion, divorce - the three D’s, when that happens, a woman blooms. She blossoms. Like flowers. Like fruit. She is ripe.”
Jack Nicholson - Daryl Van Horne