“- Mollie: I think you should try some of that Nobel Prize winner sperm.
- Rona: Get outta here. Nobel Prize winners ejaculating in jars?
- Mollie: Well, give it a shot. Don't you want a smart baby?
- Rona: That's all I need. A baby telling me what an idiot I am. Like I don't get enough of that at work?”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
Twink Caplan - Rona

“- Jared Grace: I don't want to live with dad. Is it okay if I stay here with you.
- Helen Grace: Who else is gonna protect us?”
Freddie Highmore - Jared Grace
Mary-Louise Parker - Helen Grace

“She was overly protective. I just like to think she cared about me. I was a member of the chess team and whenever we would have chess tournaments I had to wear a protective helmet. Maybe she thought that we might have fallen maybe and impaled our heads on a pointy bishop or something.”

Bob Balaban - Jonathan Steinbloom

“- Rose Darko: Our son just called me a bitch.
- Eddie Darko: You're not a bitch. You're bitchin', but you're not a bitch.”
Mary McDonnell - Rose Darko
Holmes Osborne - Eddie Darko

“- Donnie Darko: How's it feel to have a wacko for a son?
- Rose Darko: It feels wonderful.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Donnie Darko
Mary McDonnell - Rose Darko