Pregnancy quotes

“I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'.”
Dean Martin

“Being pregnant finally helped me understand what my true relationship was with my body.”
Amy Adams

“- Dr. Sheila Gamble: Allen, I'm pregnant.
- Allen Gamble: Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to you?”
Eva Mendes - Dr. Sheila Gamble
Will Ferrell - Allen Gamble

“I'm pregnant. Can you pass the turnips?”

Molly Ringwald - Darcy Elliot Bobrucz

“- Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum: Mary Anne scram, I'm starting to lose my temper; Lilian!
- Mary Anne Meechum: Dad, I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant by a negro Daddy. His name is Rufus, I didn't wanna tell you but since we're baring our souls to each other. Rufus is a pacifist; a pacifist homosexual.”
Robert Duvall - Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum
Lisa Jane Persky - Mary Anne Meechum

“- Deborah Clasky: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years so that I'm in this fix because of you, it is your fault and I just needed that moment for us to build on.
- Evelyn: You have a solid point dear... but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you.”
Téa Leoni - Deborah Clasky
Cloris Leachman - Evelyn

“- Stan aka Loretta: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
- Reg: But you can't have babies.
- Stan aka Loretta: Don't you oppress me.
- Reg: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?”
Eric Idle - Stan aka Loretta
John Marwood Cleese - Reg

“Every time I decide I want a child I get another pet. I have 3 dogs, 13 birds and 3 horses, what does that tell you?”
Alyssa Milano

“Evelyn Harper-Charlie was a planned baby.
Alan Harper-What was I?
Evelyn Harper-Well, dear, you were a pitcher of margaritas and a gas station condom.
”
Holland Taylor - Evelyn Harper
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“Alan Harper-Haven't you read the package?
Charlie Harper-Who reads the package? It's not like a cereal box.
”

Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“If you smoke when you're pregnant, they come out all spindly.”
Danny Masterson - Steven Hyde

“You ladies don't know what I'm going through. I mean, you can have all the sex you want and don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant.”

Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“Pregnant women should never stand on their tippy-toes, or else the baby will come out all cross-eyed.”
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“She’s pregnant so she needs another drink to keep that baby healthy! ”
Asif Ali - Peter

“I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I’m constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too? Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?”
Leslie David Baker - Stanley Hudson

“Vivian’s Mom-Don’t keep secrets from me.
Vivian-I’m actually already pregnant.
Vivian’s Mom-That’s a very funny joke. Right?”
Hadley Robinson - Vivian

“I called to tell you I’m not pregnant. You’re safe. It was just a possible sighting of a life form that ultimately proved false. You want to be an explorer, Augustine. To discover new worlds, to give life some hope. But while you’re doing all that, your own life is just slipping away. And that breaks my heart. But, you know, I’m sure it’s for...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sophie Rundle - Jean

“- Zak Knight: I didn't get her up the duff. It's known as an unplanned pregnancy.
- Ricky Knight: All pregnancies are unplanned, son.”
Jack Lowden - Zak Knight
Nick Frost - Ricky Knight

“They came to the conclusion that men are essential for procreation, but when it comes to pleasure... unnecessary.”
Gal Gadot - Diana

“When your children arrive, your heart becomes a room with wide open windows.”
Amy Poehler

“Zira, wine is an excellent restorative, I assure you, especially in cases of pregnancy.”
Eric Braeden - Dr. Otto Hasslein

“The Lord hath restrained me from bearing. I pray thee, go in unto my maid according to that law which says when a wife is barren, her handmaid may bear for her.”
Ava Gardner - Sarah

“I'm the woman I am because I had you. You know, I never really told anyone this before, but when I was pregnant with you, I was scared shitless. But then, the moment I held you, something inside of me changed instantly. The best kind of love does that. It changes you. It makes you a better person.”

Missy Yager - Julie Gelbman

“- Roger Morgan: Wet or dry, you're the handsomest woman I ever did see. Spirit and a fine sturdy body. It's a noble combination, Miss Prescott. Why, for you, child bearin' would come as easy as rollin' off a log.
- Lilith Prescott: Well, I... think I'd rather roll off a log, Mr. Morgan.”
Robert Preston - Roger Morgan
Debbie Reynolds - Lilith Prescott

“- Tish Rivers: You ready for this?
- Fonny: I've never been more ready for anything in my whole life.”

KiKi Layne - Tish Rivers
Stephan James - Alonzo 'Fonny' Hunt