“- Red: Um, actually, my lip, that's a cold sore. And I've never had a cold sore before, so I cried.
- Saul Silver: Dude, a cold sore? Does that mean like... herpes?
- Red: Yes, that's what it means. I have herpes.
- Saul Silver: Herpes... whoa, do you know how many, like, joints we've shared?
- Red: Yes, I know, I'm a disgusting person.”
Danny McBride - Red
James Franco - Saul Silver

“- Cliff: What was that line again? Oh my prince...
- Jenny: ... would that you drink of my lips...
- Cliff: Thanks, I don't mind if I do.”

Billy Campbell - Cliff
Jennifer Lynn Connelly - Jenny

“Don't kiss him too hard, his lips might fall off.”

Tim Wylton - Doctor

“- Alex: You remember Lara?
- Jeff: Yes I do, and she already has a cold sore. What a surprise.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Nick Swardson - Jeff

“- Pacha: For the last time, it was not a kiss!
- Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it, it was disgusting! And to think, if you'd done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little kiss of life!”

David Spade - Kuzco
John Goodman - Patcha